Mastering Stress, Screens, and School: How Ella Holton-McCoy Helps Students Thrive

Written by Heather Anderson

Ella Holton-McCory is an Executive Function Coach and Educational Therapist who works with students (and their families) to create individualized learning pathways using her knowledge of special education, neuroscience, strengths-based teaching practices, and mindfulness. She’s quick to point out that her life wasn’t always so streamlined—especially when her partner was diagnosed with cancer. That crisis derailed everything she once took for granted, giving her the empathy to understand what it’s like to “know what you should do but just can’t do it.” Below, Ella shares how she helps high school and college students (plus the occasional middle schooler or young adult) strengthen their executive function skills, manage stress, and build the confidence they need to succeed in education and in life.

Your journey into executive function coaching is so personal. How did experiencing your partner’s illness—and the toll it took on your own organizational skills—reshape your understanding and inspire your mission to help others?

I had always relied on my strong executive function skills. I was the person who color-coded everything, made sticky-note maps for studying, and juggled tasks without much trouble. When my partner was diagnosed with cancer, all of that suddenly unraveled. I couldn’t just force myself to focus anymore. I felt stuck and overwhelmed, which was completely new to me.

Looking back, I see how stress shut down my ability to plan, prioritize, and follow through. It wasn’t a lack of willpower—it was simply my brain responding to trauma. That experience gave me immense empathy for anyone dealing with executive function challenges, whether caused by ADHD, learning differences, or just high stress. Now I’m passionate about helping students recognize that executive function struggles aren’t personal failures. They’re very real, and they’re solvable with the right systems and support.

You once loved school and excelled with systems like color coding and sticky-note maps. How did those early strategies influence how you coach students today?

Those were the strategies I developed for myself, back when I was highly motivated and never thought twice about it. What I’ve learned is that no single method works for everyone. If a color-coded binder or giant mind map clicks with a student, that’s great—but if it doesn’t, we try something else.

I offer different approaches and encourage students to experiment. Maybe color coding feels confusing to them, or maybe they prefer digital tools. The important part is getting curious and building systems that match a student’s unique personality and learning style.

You bring mindfulness and neuroscience into your practice. Why are they so crucial to strengthening executive function skills?

Mindfulness and stress management are absolutely foundational if you want to tap into your executive function abilities. You cannot force yourself to focus or plan when your body and brain are in a stressed state.

From a neuroscience perspective, our higher-level thinking (planning, organizing, time management) shuts down when we’re overwhelmed by stress or anxiety. Mindfulness techniques—breathing exercises, brief meditations, even intentional breaks—can help shift students into a calmer state. That’s where real learning, task initiation, and follow-through become possible.

One of the biggest challenges for teens and college students these days is screen time. How do you address that in your coaching?

Screen time is absolutely huge. It offers an endless stream of dopamine, and that can be especially appealing if you struggle with executive function or ADHD.

I start by helping students become aware of how much time they’re actually spending on their devices. Often they’ll discover they’re on their phone 13 hours a day, and that’s a wake-up call. From there, we set micro-goals. Maybe they aim to cut it to three or four hours. We discuss when and how to limit scrolling, whether it’s removing certain apps during study time or turning off notifications.

I also ask them to reflect on what else they might want to do with that time. It’s powerful to realize you could replace five hours of doom-scrolling with something meaningful, like a hobby, a sport, or just connecting with friends in real life.

You often talk about tools for managing stress and executive functioning. Can you share one strategy that’s had a profound impact on your clients?

I frequently teach the “physiological sigh,” which was popularized by Dr. Andrew Huberman. It’s a simple breathing exercise:

  1. Take a sharp inhale through the nose.

  2. Quickly inhale again to reach the very top of your breath.

  3. Exhale for as long as possible (through the nose or mouth).

This triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the body. It’s especially helpful when students feel panicked before a test or overwhelmed by a big project. Just a few of these sighs can bring you back into a more regulated state where you can actually use your executive function skills.

When you struggled in graduate school, you mentioned it gave you empathy for students who “know what they should do but just can’t.” How do you use that empathy to build trust with families?

Living through my partner’s illness taught me firsthand what it’s like to desperately want to get things done—but your brain won’t cooperate. I share that story with students and parents to show them I truly get it.

I also emphasize that needing help is not shameful. In grad school, I leaned on classmates and even asked for assignments to be extended at times. That’s what taught me how crucial asking for help can be. When I meet a new family, I encourage them to see executive function struggles as skills that can be learned rather than personal shortcomings.

You’ve said you relied on classmates and co-workers for support during that tough time. How do you encourage students to build their own support systems?

First, I let them know I’m in their corner. They can text me if they need an accountability check-in or a motivational boost. I also encourage them to form study groups and to let their parents know what kind of help they need—maybe it’s as simple as a parent popping in at 8:30 with a snack to remind them to take a break.

Support systems can be friends, family, or even coaches who understand their goals. I have students schedule small check-ins with classmates—like “Hey, let’s make sure we both finish the outline for next week’s paper.” That tiny bit of structure can be huge for getting work done.

What’s one moment from your coaching that was unexpectedly funny, touching, or both?

A lot of funny moments are the random ADHD memes students send me at midnight, or the times they realize, “Oh, I went down a rabbit hole on TikTok again—help!”

A touching example was a student facing finals who was on the verge of a panic attack. His mom texted me frantically, and I hopped on a call with him right away. We did some breathing exercises and mapped out exactly which assignments he’d tackle first. It completely shifted his mindset. He passed those finals, but more importantly, he understood he wasn’t alone in the struggle.

If you could go back and give “grad school Ella” one piece of advice about managing stress and executive functioning, what would it be?

I’d teach her about polyvagal theory—that her brain wasn’t working properly because she was likely in a “functional freeze” state, not because she was lazy or unmotivated. I’d say: you need actual rest and relaxation. You need time in nature. You need to grieve the loss of the graduate school experience you planned for, which got derailed by real-life trauma.

I’d also remind her to ask for help from professors, classmates—anyone who can offer support—because trying to power through alone can make things worse when you’re in crisis mode.

Your practice stands out with its integration of educational therapy and executive function coaching. For families unfamiliar with this, what’s the biggest misconception you run into?

A lot of people assume I’m a content tutor. I don’t teach a specific subject like chemistry or English. Instead, I focus on the underlying skills that help you succeed in any class—like time management, task initiation, and tracking assignments.

For instance, a high school senior applying to colleges might think they need someone to proofread every essay. But often what they really need is a system for planning out application tasks, tracking deadlines, and staying calm under pressure. I help them build those systems. That’s where the educational therapy piece comes in—understanding how each person learns best and adapting strategies to fit their brain.

“Mindfulness and stress management are absolutely foundational if you want to tap into your executive function abilities. You cannot force yourself to focus or plan when your body and brain are in a stressed state.”
— Ella Holton-McCoy

You’ve also done specialized training in ADHD. How does that knowledge help you support students with ADHD or other learning differences?

Knowing the nuances of ADHD means I can validate what students are going through and help parents see it isn’t a character flaw. If a student says, “I want to start my homework, but I just can’t make myself do it,” that’s not a moral failing—that’s ADHD.

This information helps me shape realistic strategies for them. Sometimes it’s about building in frequent, short breaks to optimize brain power, or using visual timers to stay on task. It’s also about showing parents, “This is the reason your child might struggle with transitions or deadlines. They’re not being defiant—they just need the right support structures in place.”

What’s the one takeaway you want parents and students to remember about the power of executive function skills in both education and life?

I believe executive function skills are the behind-the-scenes engine that makes everything else happen. You can be incredibly smart, but if you don’t have time management or planning systems, you can’t effectively show your intelligence to the world. 

Whether you’re applying for college, tackling a big project, or balancing work and family, these skills are essential. They’re not just for the classroom—they’re life skills. And the great news is, they can be learned and improved at any stage.

If a parent is reading this and thinking, “This sounds exactly like what my child needs,” what’s the best way for them to get started with you?

They can schedule a free inquiry call on my website. That’s where we talk through what they need, what my coaching looks like, and whether we’re a good fit. From there, I offer two main routes: a Kickstarter package of three sessions if they want a trial run, or ongoing coaching if they’re ready to dive deeper.

Many families find that a few targeted sessions can clarify the student’s goals and challenges. Then, if it feels right, we move into a longer coaching relationship to keep building on those executive function strengths.

Ready for your next step toward a calmer, more organized academic life?

Connect with Ella Holton-McCoy on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn.

You can also find Ella on The M List, The Mamahood’s searchable database of mom-recommended resources, or connect and collaborate with Riana inside of The Club membership for women Founders.

Heather Anderson